I’ve been avoiding talking about this. I hate letting anyone in Fuck, I’ve been avoiding doing anything about this. I know I need to call the surgeon to find out if this is REALLY necessary but honestly, I’m terrified. Given what’s been going on, I don’t imagine that he’s going to be okay with any other course of action. And as childish as it may sound, it’s not fair. It’s not like I didn’t think I would be sick anymore. Clearly I’ve had to accept that I’m going to be sick for the rest of my life. But I had thought… I had hoped that we were done with new sickness. I wouldn’t have to go through all the tests and poking and prodding and whatnot.

But I was wrong.

I’ve never had to do this alone before.

This sucks.

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