The cost of my medications is high, despite the fact I have insurance. I’ll total it up for you later, but it’s a couple hundred dollars a month for the “essentials”. Occasionally a drug company will see me post something about the cost of a medication and will tell me to contact them for help. Then I’m told that because I currently have insurance there isn’t anything they can do. I’m starting to wonder if it would be better for me to NOT have insurance and sign up for assistance programs. (Unfortunately) It seems I’ll be finding out sooner, rather than later.  My COBRA is about to run out.

If I cannot afford my medications I will be unable to work. No work means no money. No money means no medications and… well we’re back to the beginning of what becomes a vicious cycle.

And, as it turns out, I make too much money to receive food stamps in Illinois. They count only my car payment, rent and utilities as my necessary expenses. Great. Except it is necessary for me to have my medications. What am I supposed to do now? I did the math before, about how much of my income every year is considered …gone, for lack of a better word, by the government. It was over $5000. I even tried itemizing my taxes, but despite being more than the percentage needed to claim medical expenses it wasn’t more than the standard. It adds up to tens of thousands of dollars lost to medical expenses over the years and there’s nothing I can do about it. That’s money I would have if I were a “healthy” (again, for lack of a better word) person. Them’s the brakes, apparently. And I’m still in constant pain from my lung. I need a $10,000 procedure, and that only lasts 6 months. Even with insurance it would cost me over $1000, which I don’t have.

It’s just the cost of normalcy in my world.

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