I’m desperately trying to figure out how I’m going to make it to the end of the month.  It’s the first time I’ve had to pay for Nuvigil (my first month was free), Zomig (and am already running low) and Lunesta all in the same month.  And not just that but instead of taking a med that’s a few dollars to try to sleep now I’m taking meds that are over $80 to stay asleep, and then another $80 to stay awake.  Well, now I’ll be taking more Nuvigil, so that will be over $100.  Which is money I don’t have.  But I really need to be able to stay awake during the day.  And I’m taking Fiorinal again, Dr. Wilkin hopes that will help with the daily migraines I’ve been having, most of which are triggered by my shoulder.  Plus I have to pay the $60 left on my COBRA for this month.  Nevermind that the changes in meds are because I went to see the doctor yesterday which was another $50.  I don’t have that money either.  Oh yeah, and I still need to pay my rent.

We’re again coming to the point where we’re grasping at straws.  Trying to fix at least part of  something because, to (poorly) paraphrase what my doctor said yesterday, “There isn’t anything I can tell you to do to help you that you’re not already doing.”  Not that I could afford anything else anyway.

To put it mildly, I’m freaking out.  My family can’t afford to help me any more than they already have this month.  I’m desperately trying to get my nerve block next week, but was told they may not be able to give me a time.  All patients are being moved back to Oak Park because the cryoprobe in Chicago is broken.  My lung pain is back to the point where it gets so intense that it makes me cry.
After seeing how much pain I’m in my mom told me to try and get in. But it’s like $1000 just for MY part.  I don’t know how we’re going to pay for it.  And I don’t know how I’m going to get there.  I really don’t know what I’m going to do.

Oh yeah, and my insurance runs out on the 10th, so my doctor wanted to schedule me for the 9th to see if the medications changes work.  That’s another $50.  And I have to try and get as many prescriptions filled before then.

I hate being stuck in this position.  If there is any way you can help, please, please do.  And if you can’t donate, please pass on the word.  I appreciate anything you can do.

I can’t begin to tell you what a blow it is to hear that things may not get any better when I’m barely holding on.

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